Monday, October 27, 2014

More than a punching bag

1 in 4 women will be abused by a significant other in their life time.

This means emotional, physical, economic, and sexual abuse.

1 in 4 women will live in fear, their sense of security being shattered by a single person. A single threat. A single punch, that lead to a series of continual violence.

1 in 4 women will have to question the one they thought loved them. The ones that swore to "never do it again." The ones that did it again. and again. and again.


On Sunday, I read an article by my local newspaper magazine about domestic violence. Nevada is one of the highest ranked states regarding domestic violence. The Clark County District Attorney's office receives 10 to 20 new domestic abuse cases a day. Last year, there was 30 deaths in Las Vegas related to domestic violence.

30 people who no longer have a voice to share their story.

I am not making the assumption that only women are abused. But according to recent statistics, 75% of cases involve male violence towards women. In all domestic violence cases recording since 1994, 4 out of the 5 victims have been women.
 As a woman, this terrifies me. But what lies within me is greater than anything or anyone that could possibly hurt or scare me. I can think of multiple women in my life who have been abused. I have to stand up for what I know is right. As a friend, a daughter, a sister, and as a journalist that has witnessed abuse, I feel as though I have a responsibility to share.

Domestic violence doesn't just affect one person. Ask the children with their ears pressed against the door listening to their parents scream at each other. Ask the child who has called the police because he saw his dad hit his mom. Ask the daughter who is trying to understand what real love is, because  she heard the words "I love you" but also heard the threats and screams. Ask the son who thought violence was normal. Ask the nations still treating women as property. Ask the families and friends who have lost loved ones due to acts of violence. 

Domestic abuse is the most troubling of all. Because the single person who is supposed to protect you, is the one holding your life over a flame. You have the choice to cling to them in the fear of burning, or leave them and have to worry about burns you may endure.

Sometimes when I read an article about a recent loss to domestic violence, or when I write the article, I think to myself, I never knew him or her. Maybe no one knew the pain and fear happening behind the closed doors.

But today, I open those doors. For the victims who don't get to do so anymore.

We have to stand up for ourselves. We have to realize that our life is ours and ours alone, that our body is the one home we have our entire life. That our spirit, mind, and soul is ours. It never belongs to anyone else. We hold the power. We are women. We bring life into the world, we share, we dream, we believe, in tomorrows, in true love, in ourselves, and each other.

If this post does anything, I hope it brings awareness. I hope that anyone who feels trapped knows that they are their exit. I hope they can feel hope and support in their community.

I hope that if you are reaching for a hand to hold, you can feel mine virtually anywhere.

The ones who love us would never hurt us. It starts with loving ourselves. It starts with realizing we are more than enough.

To the women and men who have been abused, believe in tomorrows again. Believe in yourself.
To the ones lost, to the families mourning, to the children having to make sense of the senselessness, we are granted a new day. A new moment.
To those stuck in a hurtful cycle, to those who wake up everyday scared of the ones closest to you, get help and get out.
And to women everywhere...

Love shouldn't hurt. We are more than punching bags.

Stop by Emily's blog, and share what you are grateful for today.


  1. This is so, so important and definitely something that isn't discussed as much as it should be. It's hard to talk about it... it's hard to talk about things that are sad and painful and infuriating and unfair and scary. It's people like you though that remind us that we ARE here for each other. That we can speak up. That we are worth so, so much. I am so thankful that you are in this world, Katie. XO

  2. Such a strong, amazing post! We as bloggers always feel like we should share the good because no one wants to read the bad or the ugly. But, every now and again, I feel the need to read something really real and raw and today, you have done it. My prayer is that one person who reads this today finds the strength to stand up for what you are standing up for.

  3. Wow I had no idea the fraction was that high -- one in FOUR? That is truly horrifying. Thanks for sharing this post and bringing awareness to a scary topic that needs to be addressed and stopped.

  4. Beautifully written, and something that needs to be discussed, women need to feel empowered to share their story and know that they write what comes next in their lives. Thank you for posting this!

  5. Our community was touched by this very concept when a girl who graduated from our high school went off to college. She was killed in her dorm room by her boyfriend (from our town as well). It has opened our town's eyes to the fact that domestic violence affects women of all ages. It's a horrific story and so sad. This happens daily to women everywhere. Education is key, awareness is crucial. Thanks for writing this post.


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