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Monday, December 8, 2014

My heart to this life

I am supposed to be running.
That's what I woke up to do this morning.

But other things are on my mind, and even though I had a plan and an exact amount of time I was hoping to spend getting fresh air and exercise, my clouded thoughts have a way of distracting me.



I've ran this trail more times than I can count. My feet know the path: the cracks, the bumps, where the sidewalk finishes and the dirt trail begins. I know what I typically see: birds chirping and hiding in trees. Couples walking hand in hand. Children being pushed in strollers, laughs coming from their seats.

I know it all too well.

The trail begins at a park, makes it way under a flood channel and up a small hill, where gold leaves are now decorating the ground, fall's offering.
I slow down to a walk, and continue on my path.
My favorite part of the trail has a sloppy grass hill and trees decorating the whole thing. I've read books with my first college boyfriend on this hill. I've had picnics. I've laid still catching my breath after a long run. I've journaled, wondered, marveled, and appreciated.

Beneath every tree on the hill is a memorial stone to someone who has passed.
I've looked but never really seen these stones. Today I stop at each one. Each one reading a variation of the words: In memory of, our friend, our son, our daughter. With love. You will be missed.

I don't know these people or their families. I don't know how they passed. But in a way as I sit on this hill, I feel connected to them. I feel like we are sharing this place, this moment.
I think about all the people who have passed, and the people that are missing them. And I think about those I miss and how sometimes I wonder if they would be proud.

And as I am looking at these stones and reading the years they lived, a set beginning and end, I think about all the things we tell ourselves we must do in our lifetimes. All the things we eagerly wait to cross of a bucket list.
And I realize one thing: whether you see the world or you see only your hometown, whether you sky dive, bungee jump, learn to speak 5 languages, or move into a big house, and buy your dream car, all that begins to matter in the end is if you have someone to share your life with.


I am always saying that I am more than happy being independent. I always tell my friends that try to set me up with a guy that I am okay being alone right now. I pride myself on being someone who is focusing on herself, by herself right now.

But I realize know, on this hill, that that isn't true. I have never been truly alone, I always have an abundance of love and wonderful people in my life. I always have someone to confide in, someone to share with, celebrate with, mourn with. I never feel alone. That's a giant blessing.

And that's what life is. It's sharing and loving, and knowing that the special moments are made even more special when shared. Life is those people that you call the moment you get good or even bad news. The people who celebrate with you, cry with you, the people that always answer. Without those people these stones wouldn't be beneath these trees.

In our last moments, I like to think we want to know we made ourselves proud, but also those closest to us.

I like to think we would all like something left in our memory, something that shows we shared memories, just like these stones beneath the trees. And when our time comes, I like to think we don't feel so alone. We feel connected.

Like the sun to the trees.
My feet to this trail.
My heart to this life.


Stop by Emily's blog this week and share what you are grateful for.

10 comments:

  1. Your words are so beautiful! I love this post! xoxo

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    1. Thank you, Alycia! Hope you had a beautiful week! xoxo

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  2. SO beautiful! Made me tear up a bit!

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    1. Aw, thanks girl! It means a lot coming from a talented writer like yourself!

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  3. I fell in love with this post Katie. It's beautiful.

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    1. Thank you, sweet friend! It was just a moment of clarity, love those. Miss you!

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank you!!! So are YOU! Have a wonderful day. xoxo

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  5. Can I just hug you right now? No, really. Can I fly to NV and tackle you with a huge hug? And then can we go walking this trail together? I adore your soul. xo

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    1. I adore you. You are too sweet!!! But seriously, if Vegas ever sounds like a good idea, you have a place to stay & a trail to explore with me!

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