Tuesday, March 1, 2016

I'm baaack

I took a little break from blogging and I am slowly trying to make my way back. I've always, always loved sharing with this online community. I've made friends with people all over the country and received emails that have been so heartfelt and touching. Some of my closest friends now started as blog readers. This three-year-old blog has become a constant tool for learning and growth. The give back from an online community is insane. I took a break for a few reasons, but the main one is that I felt like I stopped writing for myself and started writing with the intention of making everything fit into a post.

I'll get into all that later, but before that, I'm going to ramble about art and writing and why I love the whole mess of it.

I've never taken a break from writing. I've had a small notebook since I was six and it's been a constant love of mine ever since. My favorite part of writing has continued to be simply letting go of all the stuff that is too heavy to hold on to but too important to forget about completely.

Somehow during the course of my blog, I felt like I began tailoring some of my pieces with an audience in mind. While I am the biggest promoter of sharing and being selfless, I think art has to be something you do solely for yourself before you share it. I've journaled my entire life with no intention of anyone reading the entries. My love for writing and my need to write is why I do it. That's really why this blog started and worked, I wrote the things I needed to hear. I shared them, and strangers from all over needed to hear those same things.

21 years of life and 21 notebooks later...

I think that's why we as human beings are so drawn to art and creation in the first place: we are trying to make the thing we haven't seen but have needed for ourselves. Once we do that, we can share it and watch people nod their heads in agreement because they needed just that thing, too.

That being said, writing (and creating in general), is a risk that really can't be calculated or planned for.  I recently read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and Gilbert says to pursue your creative passions so long as you are alive, but realize that creativity has promised you nothing.

How scary is that to think about? You can spend your whole life pursuing your passion and there is no guarantee that passion is going to put a roof over your head. That's also the magic of it, we will still do the things we love with nothing at all. That's how we often know just how much we love our art, it survives through every low and high.  I physically and emotionally could not imagine a world where I couldn't write each and every day .Writing hasn't promised me anything, this blog is not sponsored and even though I have a job that allows me to write and get paid, it's not a fancy dinner and sports cars kind of wealthy. (it's  more of a -eggos waffles for dinner and gas tank is never totally full- kind of wealthy).

But I'm happy. I'm creating. Writing has brought me closer to all things true and bright and kindred to my soul. It makes me get in touch with dark parts of my life and causes me to feel grateful that I can tell about them. I made a vow with writing that I would pursue it always and forever (true love over here) and I plan to.

I have no real direction for this first post back, besides to share that if any of you are in a creative or general life funk, remind yourself what you love and why you started it in the first place. Remind yourself that while your passion didn't make a promise to you, it makes you happy, it makes you better, and that is often (and always) enough.

Write the book you have longed to see on the shelves, paint the picture you've wanted hung up in your bedroom, sing the lyrics you've craved to hear through your headphones. We have to pursue the things that set fire to our hearts and continue, even if no one is watching or paying attention.

We have to eat the eggos waffles for dinner and drive with our gas light on and stay up late doing what we love. That's what life is.

So much love to all of you and SO happy to be back. xoxox

1 comment:

  1. So glad you're back to blogging and looking forward to your art. Love you!


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