Monday, December 19, 2016

15for17: Annalisa Palmer

Another addition in the 15for_ series, a beautiful post by Annalisa Palmer.
Annalisa was in my British Literature class a few semesters ago and unlike most English majors, her brilliance is subtle and never boastful. She is one of those people that genuinely listens. Her responses in class always strike me as thoughtful and refreshing. She shares with a vulnerability and honesty that I wish more people would jump into. And among a dozen other nice things I could say about her, I am just really grateful she is sharing a list of 15 statements she would tell her 17-year-old self.

Her list is bellow (and it's really freaking good):

15 statements for my 17-year-old self by Annalisa Palmer

1. 5, 15, 2013,17: 4. Those moments of imperfection in your subjective bildungsroman narrative cripple your ego. Do not dwell on them.

2. You regret your choice to graduate early. Sometimes.

3. Stop looking for something or someone that never shows up.

4. Ensconcing yourself in your room doing homework is not the only answer. Do not turn your friends away.

5. I cannot convince your narrow mind to halt your long attempt to achieve societal standards of beauty. But, happiness flitters away as soon as you say no to yourself.

6. You get lower than you ever got before.

7. I see your bones. When you play your ribcage, you think it is beautiful—to a certain extent, I still think it is.

8. Another moment like this returns. You crave those once sharp collarbones and protruding spine. Your index finger glides up your back and the struggle between a full stomach and a caffeine induced high wages on. She haunts you.

9. As much as you try and defer your progression into adulthood, the blood comes.

10. You do not care about love right now. Value your time alone.

11. Time and fear etch scars onto your body. You ache, feel, and grow more than you ever thought possible.

12. Forget about him and what you said. 

13. Keep running. Move and do. Despite its sadomasochistic bent, exercise reminds you to breathe. You are enough.

14. When you press your nose against the backseat window, watching your brother leave for his mission, do not expect tears. Your faith soon falters. Start questioning now before the flood swallows you whole.

15. Do not silence your call to explore and risk. Fear tarries in your heart; ignore it.

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