Sunday, March 26, 2017

Questions we can stop asking ourselves

Lately, life has felt big and constantly adjusting and weird. It has also felt equally wonderful and full and livelier than ever. I’ve been asking a lot of myself. I’m on the brink of graduating *gets up from computer and dances obnoxiously*, I’m interning for a company I really love, and I’m trying to do right by the six-year-old me who had these big, wild plans that could not be water-downed or altered by anything or anyone.

The only way I know how to get in touch with that six-year-old me is by asking myself what my life feels like when I am in my truth. Not what it looks like. Not if I'm pretty enough, put together enough, buying the best things, doing the right things, painting the picture that I have it all together. Instead, letting it feel what it needs to. Letting myself feel what I need to. Stopping to be gentle with myself and allowing the small and always necessary mistakes to happen.

Today, I decided I would stop asking myself questions that pull me further from the person I innately am. I decided to also write this blog post and make a list- because part of me is sure I am not the only one asking these questions.

 Let’s practice big love and self-care today, here’s to all of you. Xo.

Questions we can stop asking ourselves:

1. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing. Seriously, nothing. If you are asking this, it’s probably because you are either a) going through a tough time or b) giving yourself a tough time. Maybe something in your life needs adjustment, or a completely shift entirely, but that’s life. That’s not you being “wrong”, it’s you being human.

2. Do I/my legs/my arms/etcetcetc look fat in this?
Guess what? Clothes don’t make you weigh any more or less. Some make us appear smaller, some larger. But you are the same body proportions no matter what. Lamenting over something that I can guarantee no one else is noticing is a waste. Also, I LOVE this video and it’s a good watch for those who struggle with this:

3. Why is everyone doing so much better than me?
I recently started yoga, and my usual you-must-be-the-best-at-this mentality came out. I looked around and saw handstands, backbends, and limbs twisted in positions that hurt me just by looking. So this past class, when I felt my body ask me to please slow down- I did. I laid there. It was awkward for all of 28 seconds. People kept moving. When we got to savasana (fancy word for lying still), I starting crying. I couldn’t help but think as I laid still and quiet, “I so often silence my own needs in order to keep up with some expectation that literally no one is asking of me, but me.” We are only responsible to look at how we are doing and feeling, not in comparison or contrast to anyone else. We have an obligation to our body and our heart, and the care of it is ours and only ours.

from Frances Cannon

4. Why is this* taking so long?
*finding a job, finding a partner, finding the perfect home, figuring out life- the list is endless. And the answer is simply because (and because I have known this to be my truth and the truth of the oldest, wisest people I know): everything is happening in the time it should. Things that are meaningful take time to grow and flourish. Our lives are a giant, mysterious, and often frustrating unfolding and we’ve got to be patient and gracious with it. So enjoy the process of creating what it is you are seeking and you’ll love it all the more when it reveals itself.

image via Pinterest

5. Are he/she/they happy with me?
I mean, sometimes this is valid, but if you aren’t happy with yourself, this question doesn’t matter. You do the best you can. You show up and do things from a place of honesty and empathy and self-respect. And those who will be happy with you are happy. And those who aren’t probably spend too much time stressing on the questions listed above.

Wishing you all the best week filled with moments that make your life feel extra good.

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